The Navigators Pray

My husband left five weeks ago. We’ve always had a fairly good marriage (we are best friends) but after a long battle with infertility and two adoptions (and the financial stressors that compounded that), we also both changed careers. I will not lie, I became overcommitted and my priorities got skewed. I was frantically busy trying to be successful at work and school and care for our children. I felt like a failure at everything; and that was devastating to my husband. I wasn’t taking care of myself, my relationship with God, or my marriage. Over the last several months, he has withdrawn into himself and when I was unsuccessful in reaching him, I became angry and shamefully hateful (threatening divorce, etc.) This culminated in me packing my and our children’s bags. I was just trying to get a response. I realize now that I ultimately (with my words and fear) pushed him out the door. Yesterday, my husband told me that he would never come home. He doesn’t want to repair our marriage. He explained that he loved me, and that I was his best friend, and that he understood how hurtful this was to me and our children, he doesn’t believe that we can have a marriage together.

I tried to explain that this crisis has allowed me to fully relinquish my life to Christ and that I am different, and that I want more than anything the opportunity to repair our marriage. For the first time in a while, I have begun caring for myself again (spiritually, emotionally, and physically – in church, therapy, and the gym).I explained that I realized that we have never mastered maintenance in our marriage (we always assumed that our love and friendship were enough – if we experienced tough times, we always cycled back to each other… until now).

My husband has always been the more faithful of us and I think he is struggling with his faith now. He is resistant to Godly counsel and friendly support. He is closed into himself. I also fear that he is subject to negative counsel.

I now realize that my priorities need to be my relationship with God, my marriage, my children, and myself. I am praying that God will end this strife between us and that my husband’s heart will be softened. Our marriage has been filled with such love and joy; our friendship is a wonderful basis for a Godly marriage. May God open his eyes so that he can see that we can be healed in Him. I welcome your prayers for our marriage. I desperately need them! I do not want a legacy of divorce for my children…and I can’t imagine a life without my wonderful husband. Thank you!
~Cher